either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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