we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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