Are we in a gay sports bar?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
