I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Its about making memories worth repressing
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
