I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
