I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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