So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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