ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
