I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So many bounce houses so little time
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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