god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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