she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
