dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I seem to have left my pride at pride
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
