I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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