so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
