Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
