Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You took a bar mat shot.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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