the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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