She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I am naked and annoyed.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
