I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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