I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize