Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
