i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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