all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
