dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize