why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
