I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
