Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
