happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
