looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
