Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
