Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
