Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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