If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
