there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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