Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
