Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
