yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
