i was rollin on her like bob the builder
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
