dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
