Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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