I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
