Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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