Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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