Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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