that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
