that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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