Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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