There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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