This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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