I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
