I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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