After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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