omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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