Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
