Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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