if you like me you must not know who I am
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
