Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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