So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize