Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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