um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
