all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
