mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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