hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
