I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There are leaves in my underwear?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
