with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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