they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
